Battle

My husband and I are currently in a battle right now. Well, he shoulder mostly of the battle. It's about his SMOKING. He's been into it for half of his life. Literally. He would tell me that he started smoking when he's about 14 or 15. That's a lot of wasted years to nicotine. :(

I too, smoked, but I wasn't that addicted. I started when I was still in college and continue the habit for at least 5 years. I remember that whenever my friends and I would go to some bar to unwind after work, I could finish a whole pack. I smoke as fast I could finish my drink. Which is usually a hard drink because I never drank beer (another bad vice). So, when my husband and I met, I swore to him that I would quit smoking, and I did that. I did quit and haven't had a stick for nearly nine years now.

So we sort had a fight after his bout with flu last week and lost a lot of weight. I told him to kick out the habit. He would always say, "Yes, I'll start tomorrow. Definitely. I'll just have 3 sticks a day.". And I would believe him...but sadly, it's been 6 years of telling him and he's still smoking. Its not that he's not trying. He even tried nicotine patch. But the patch is too expensive here that he did not continue with the patch program. He also tried substituting candies for cigars. But no luck.

Then I just snapped with our fight. I told him that if he's not going to do anything with the habit, that if he's not going to be more disciplined, then I might as well join him again too. And that got him worried. So today, he only had a single stick. I know that it'll be long before he could be totally free of this "addiction", but I am more than willing to help him, and encourage him to do the right thing, not just for our daughter but mostly for himself. I'm just blackmailing him right now (why would I go back to smoking?)... and it is working. So I'm happy, and so is his health.

If only we live in a country where healthcare is a priority. But sadly, our country really lags behind in this department. You got sick, you need to have tons of money to pay to get well. Palagi kong sinasabi.. "di bale nang kakaunti ang pera, basta walang magkakasakit." Because in the Phillipines, "health is truly a poor man's wealth".

Sarap Pinoy

Marami-rami na rin akong kakilala, kaibigan at mga kamag-anak na OFW, mga immigrant sa ibang bansa. Nami-miss daw nila ang pinas. Pero mas pinili nila na sa ibang bansa magtrabaho o manirahan kasi mahirap daw ang buhay sa bansa natin. They need to sacrifice their own happiness by working/living  abroad so that the younger ones (their children) can get a better life than them. Gaano nga ba kahirap ang buhay sa Pilipinas at napakdami ng naalis? Ang tatay ko, naniniwala na kaya mong mabuhay ng matiwasay sa bansa natin basta matyaga ka. Kasi sabi nya, siya rin daw galing sa wala. Pinag-aral din nya yung sarili nya at hindi umasa sa magulang nya, pero kahit papaano may naipundar sya bukod sa napaaral nya kaming magka-kapatid. 

I personally can see my father's reason. It all depends on one's wants and needs. One needed only the basics, but wants so much more. Basics - food, shelter, education, konting savings for health. Others are "wants", not basically needs.  But nobody can blame anybody for wanting more. For having a little of something, for working so hard all your life. Pero sabi nga ng tatay ko, kung basic lang..kayang-kaya. 

So, ano nga bang  meron sa Pinas na wala sa ibang bansa? Para ma-miss mo ng sobra ang Pinas? Na kahit anong sarap ng buhay sa ibang bansa ay mas gugustuhin mo na bumalik.

1. Family - Sino bang gusto na malayo sa pamilya niya? Wala. Kasi sa kultura ng mga Pilipino, mahalaga ang pamilya. Mawala na lahat, wag lang pamilya mo. Dahil may maga oras na kahit meron ka ng lahat ng bagay at pera sa mundo, kung hindi mo naman ito maise-sahre sa pamilya mo, bale wala.

2. Init -  Sobra ang init dito, dati kaya mong tiisin ang summer heat. Ngayon, wish ko na pwede. Kahit tag-ulan na, rainy season na o kaya e, -ber months na, grabe pa rin ang init. Kaya bago lumabas ng bahay, you need to protect your skin, kasehoda na payong o hat, pero sunblock, pinaka importante. Pero syempre, yung init ng pagmamahal ng isang Pinoy!

3. Extra rice / Unli-rice -  Sobrang hilig sa kanin ng mga Pinoy, kahit nakakataba. (Waiter, isa pa ngang rice dyan!)

4. Palengke -  Walang palengke na kasingbaho at kasing dumi ng tulad sa Pinas (feeling ko lang). Kahit pa yatang sabihin na 1st class municipality o 3rd class municipality e kasama na yung ganyang klase ng palengke sa atin.Pero masarap mamili at makipagtawaran kay suki.

5. Pagkain - Oo, masarap din ang pagkain sa ibang bansa. pero mas masarap pa rin ang lutong Pinoy (para sa akin!). Sa karinderya man yan, o sa isang restaurant o kahit simpleng luto ng nanay mo, masarap talaga kumain ang Pinoy. Kahit nga kamatis at bagoong lang ang ulam e, swak na!

6. Beaches - Need I say more? Beaches are the best here in the Philippines. Kahit worst ang airport natin (hayzzz), ayos lang.

7. Maynila, Cebu, Davao, etc. - Sino bang ayaw umuwi sa bayan na kinalakihan mo?

So, sa inyong mga OFW, uwi-uwi rin pag may time. Ipon-ipon din nga pamasahe pag may time. Kasi miss na kayo ng mga kababayan nyo. ('Wag nyo na lang pansinin pulitika dito, para hindi masayang ang happiness nyo. Hehehe.)

Heartache

   Just got a fight with a family member. A little misunderstanding turned into a real, ugly fight. Now we're not talking to each other.

   It will  take too long before healing. I just know it. Ang mahirap, even my daughter is getting at my moods. At pati siya e nasisigawan ko na rin. Lalo kapag may failing grades siya sa mga quizzes nya. At kapag hindi nya masyado ma-gets yung mga review ko sa kanya.
 
    I hate myself right now. I just hope I'd feel better about things. Soon.

Sigh....

No More

Coffee is a big part of my mornings. Kung walang kape, feeling ko, hindi ako productive for that day. I feel something is just missing. 

I sooo love my coffee habit.

Pero something is not right with my body system. My blood pressure has always been 90/60. As in, always. When I got pregnant with my daughter, it slightly went up to 110/80. Fairly normal. But I'm not pregnant anymore.

My daughter is attending her big-school. I have to get up extra early to prepare her things. So everyday, is a  4:30am call time for me. Errands and chores means coffee break is at 7am and 4pm (if its too hot to have coffee in the afternoon, I'd usually have them in a smoothie form).

And all those caffeine is adding something to even lower my bp. And so is my lack of sleep.Which sucks, because I'd feel woozy more often than I like.

I guess its goodbye coffee? Goodbye Coke (my stress-buster)? And goodbye iced-tea?

I need to be healthy for my daughter because she needs me. I am not young anymore. I can't afford to be sick. 

(Sigh)   :(