This is the story of my Trisomy-18 baby, Nathaniel.
Holy week was observed earlier than usual. My family and I set forth on seeing some old churches on our way to Batangas. Our first stop was the church of St. Padre Pio in Tanauan. My first time there, I silently prayed to St. Padre Pio to help me conceive again. It was what Ikay and I wanted.
April 2018
Everything was normal within our busy schedule, except for the fact that I was already pregnant by this month and still not know it. This was also the time that my husband and I had a huge fight.
May 2018
I was a week late and I remember testing around 5 am on the 3rd. It came back positive and I messaged my sister half across the globe because I wasn't sure if what I am seeing is true. I did not tell my husband right away because I was so shocked. For almost 10 years of trying to get me pregnant and wanting to be a mother again, I remember crying while making a silent prayer of thanks to Papa God for making my wish come true.
June - August 2018
Every test done to me was okay. Although I had a harder first trimester than my first born, I had already an inclination that this will be a "boy". Our firstborn was nicknamed "Ikay". So, at 15 weeks, I already named him our "Ikoy". We saw him on his 8th week via trans-vaginal ultrasound. We heard his heartbeat at 12 weeks via doppler. My whole family was ecstatic for another baby in the household. I had several test which I aced at around 15 weeks up to 23rd week.
Before I hit the 24th week, My doctor told me to have a congenital anomaly scan, a required scan for high-risk pregnancy since I am on the advance side of maternal age.
September 2018
We had the anomaly scan a day before my 24th week. And right there, the doctor told me that there was something wrong with our Ikoy. She told me a lot of wrongs, and with all of those my world came crushing down. I remember crying so hard and wondering why this is happening to my baby.
Our Ikoy has omphalocele, a magna cisterna, his right wrist is bended, a rock bottom foot (left), and the biggest of them was his heart problems - hypoplastic left heart syndrome (HLHS), a cardiomegaly, among others. He was also small for his gestational age. The doctors weren't sure of his exact sydrome, so we have to go and see a more specialized Ob-Gyne. Dr Valerie Guinto was a doctor from the Philippine General Hospital and she was the one who helped me decide on the fate of my little one.
October 2018
This was the month that we had blood works done on me to know Ikoy's real situation. We had to know for sure what kind of sydrome Ikoy is dealing with. I had an appointment with someone from CordLife - a company that offers prenatal testing for moms like me to detect any anomalies though non-invasive procedures.
Two weeks later, Ikoy's came back positive for Trisomy 18 or Edward's Syndrome.
November 2018
On the 9th, was my 32nd week check-up. We were just there to get the assurance that our baby was still okay and was holding on. I have no other wish after knowing Ikoy's conditon, but to see him alive. My doctor told me that Ikoy's heartbeat was getting irregular and that it worries her because Ikoy's wasn't moving as well as he was used to in his previous ultrasound. So, from my doctor's clinic, we were told to go directly to PGH where she would meet us after her clinic. I was to have a Non-Stress Test to monitor Ikoy's heartbeat and movement, and if ever I was having any contraction.
I cried all the way while going to the hospital. I wasn't prepared to deliver Ikoy yet. He was still small and his chances is slim if I deliver him that night. I prayed and prayed and talked to Ikoy to hold on for Mama. The residents at the hospital were detecting some contraction but I wasn't feeling anything. Ikoy's heart gradually stabilized and were cleared to go home the following day.
December 2018
Nathaniel Edwin Adenit was born on the 11th at 4:14 pm. Weighing only 3.77 pounds, he was born perfect. He was born bluish because of his heart. His cry was the littlest cry I have ever heard. For two days, he graced us with his strength, his purity, and love. He fulfilled his duty to me by meeting everyone in our family. He granted my wish of being with us even for exactly two days.
He was called to heaven at 4:20 pm on the 13th. Days after his death, the confirmatory result for Trisomy18 came back positive.
Sometimes, God grants us our wishes in different ways. Though I wish for a sibling for my daughter, God gave me an angel instead. Never questions God's plan, instead, ask yourself why you are given these gifts. And there you'll find your answers. Never question God's plan, for He will never give us burdens, only lessons in life.
