Satisfaction -- Kuntento

I am in a battle with myself right now. I dunno what's wrong, pero nahihirapan ako. Nasasaktan. Hindi para sa sarili ko, pero para sa anak ko. 

I have been married for 8 years now. My only child, is 7 years old. She's in grade two. And as hard as it is na bumuhay ng pamilya, pinili naming mag-asawa na pag-aralin ang anak namin sa isang pribadong eskwelahan na malapit lamang sa aming tirahan. Nung maliit pa yung anak ko, around 2 or 3 years old, e issue ko na ito sa pagitan nya at ng ibang bata. Hindi siya naturalente na bibo, na palakwento. Nung maliit pa nga sya medyo bulol pa. Pero magaling sya sa puzzle at sa pagtago ng mga bagay na hindi kanya (mga laruan ng pinsan nya na nakakaligtaan itabi, kanya na daw yun!) Matagal bago nya na-memorize ang ABC at mga colors. She's 3.3 years old when she entered junior casa. She got an award not in any subject but an award in conduct. When she was 4, I transferred her into another school, yan na yung school kung nasaan sya ngayon. On her graduation sa preparatory, she got another award. Again it was for her conduct. Napakabait ng anak ko sa school.

My child is in grade 2 now, at since nag-aral sya, never pa siya naka-receive ng merit sa kahit anong subject nya. It always break my heart kapag nauwi sya at iiyak kasi tinutukso sya ng friends nya, kasi hindi daw sya kasama sa mga achievers (achievers are those who got a grade of 90 up on every subject). Sabi ko, okay ay lang yun, na nasa 90+ lahat ng subjects nya, pwera sa Math. Na makakahabol pa sya. Pero hindi sya nakahabol. Kahit tumaas na yung grades nya sa Math (88!) hindi pa rin pasok sa mga achievers. Overtime, naging ok lang sa kanya na hindi talaga tataas pa yung grades nya sa Math nung nasa grade 1 sya. 

Pero it was different with me. Kahit anong sabi ko na okay lang yun. Sa isip, sa damdamin ko, na sana matalino rin yung anak ko. Na achiever din sya. Na sana, mataas lahat ng score nya sa mga exam nya. Na sana gaya sya ng ibang bata na magaling sa comprehension, na magaling sa Math. Na sana, hindi sya mahilig manood ng teleserye kundi magbasa ng madaming libro. Puro sana. Puro comparison. Pinukpok ko sya ng husto sa pagre-review. Pinainom ng vitamins na maraming Omega-3. Hinataw sa maraming worksheets at exercises. Pero ganun pa rin. Puro dissapointment pa rin sa part ko. At nung umiling na ko nung nakita ko mga score nya. I saw sadness in my child's eyes. I saw how sorry she was for failing me. THAT WAS BAD ON MY PART.

I should be proud of what my child can achieve. Kahit maliit na bagay, I know that she tries her best to make me proud. To make me smile, and make me happy.  I should be satisfied with her abilities, her intelligence, her strength.  I feel like that I don't have the right to judge her just because she got a low grade on her math exam, or on any other subject, for that matter. Her happiness is what's important. Because, if she's happy, she can be confident in anything. She can achieve anything that her heart would desire, ika nga.

And when  I look at her as she sleeps, I feel disappointed  with myself for being so shallow, so insecure. She's only 7 and she can read a whole English book! Kahit pa sabihin mo na half lang yung naiintindihan nya na mga words.

Never again, I am vowing that. 

I will always be proud of my princess. Sa kahit anong bagay, sa kahit anong score. Si Einstein at Bill Gates nga e drop-out di ba?! Malay mo, sa kanya pala ako yayaman! 

If my princess is happy, then I, too will be happy.  :)

Pilipinas: Mid-2014

Daming nangyayari sa Pilipinas ngayon. Daming hang-ups, daming balita. From the PDAF scam to DAP, to El Niño, hazing, the 2016 election, Chinese island-grabbing. Dami ano? Sa isang housewife na tulad ko, nakaka-windang ng utak kapag isa isa mo silang inisip.Ano ba meron sa Pilipinas at ganito ka-grabe ang problema ng mga Filipino? Ganun ba tayo ka-special kay Papa God para bigyan tayo ng samu't-saring problema? Kaya ba natin to?

Two senators are now detained for the PDAF scam. Now, PNoy is under trouble for the DAP. Sabi ng SC "unconstitutional" daw. Others wanted him impeached. Sino papalit kapag na-impeached si PNoy? Si Binay? OMG. Our government system sucks. IMHO, It really does. Canadian pays higher taxes than us, and they don't give a damn if they do because you know what? They know that their taxes will serve them. Better health services, better lives for those who still lives below poverty line. The Canadian government provides for their people. Sa Pilipinas? the BIR is really doing their job in collecting taxes from the Filipino people, but who serves the Filipino? Certainly not the government. Wala ngang health services na libre e. The taxes go, as seen in the PDAF scam, in the pockets of the politicians. The same politician na binoto natin para pagsilbihan tayo, but it is going the other way around. We are serving them, by giving them our hard earned money, through taxes. Pag hindi ka nagbayad ng tax, sasabihin ng BIR, obligasyon yan ng bawat Filipino, pero pwera mga politiko???  Hindi ba't obligation nila na pagsilbihan si Juan dela Cruz?

El Niño phenomenon naman, eto na yata ang summer na grabe ang init. As in. At July na ha, pero feeling summer pa rin ang peg ng mga kababayan natin. We'll see kapag may tumama na naman na baha at bagyo sa metro, news-breaking ulit. Then dun sila magahahakot ng mga basura sa drainage. Sabi nga "AMAZING!!!"  huh???

Dami ng problema pa ng Pinas, tapos ayaw pa tayo tantanan ng China sa Spratly-issue. Ayaw pa i-balato na lang sa atin e .

 

Eto pa isang  nakaka-windang, who would've thought na yung presyo ng garlic at ginger e tataas ng at least 300 per kilo?  Mas mahal pa sa baboy at baka. Hay. Pero ika nga ng isang ordinaryong Pinoy, lilipas din yan, gaya ng mga problema natin, lilipas din ang lahat. 

Matiisin e.

But as a nation, we are blessed. Sa dinami-dami ng problema ng Pilipinas simula pa ni kopong-kopong e I can humbly say na isa tayo sa fave ni Papa God. We fall, yet we rise again, as one nation and one people. With beauty and with grace. 

It truly is more fun in the Philippines.Weh? Di nga??

Tag-init

Ma-jinet. Grabe. Sobra. As in. Siguro naman, lahat kayong Filipino na nasa Pilipinas ngayon e nararamdaman ang sungit ng "init" ngayong summer. Pero eto na ata ang pinakamainit na summer na naranasan ko. Dati deadma lang ako kahit lakad na walang payong, ngayon, hindi na-carry ng powers ko. Sobra. 

Nung bata ako, dahil medyo may pagka-maputi ako, inggit na inggit ako sa mga bata na maitim, mga kayumanggi talaga. Malay ko ba naman na mauuso yung mga glutathione at iba pang mga whitening products na yan. So, nagbilad ako ng nagbilad. Walang tigil sa laro kahit sa labas kahit tirik ang araw. Ayun, so medyo negra na ako ngayon. My legs and feet suffered the most. Kasi kita mo yung bakat nung tsinelas sa paa ko. Unsightly siya kaya I seldom use flats or heels. Puro rubber shoes.

Back to the weather, climate change really is really hitting us. Big time. Malalakas na typhoon (Remember Yolanda!) At sobrang tuyot na summer. And to think, kahit hindi tayo ang number 1 contributor ng pollution, affected pa rin tayo. 

Sarap maligo ng may yelo. Grabe ang init. Buti na lang madali matuyo ang mga laundry ko. :)

Pastillas with LOVE

Summer. Tapos na April, May naman. Enrollment na naman. Bayaran na naman. Lumipas na ang trending ng "Frozen". Natunaw na yata si Olaf sa kakanta ng "In Summer". Pero tuloy pa rin ang buhay sa isang nanay na katulad ko. Naka-enroll na rin yung anak. Buti nakapag-save ako. Nag-start kaya ako ng January, after lahat ng bilihan ng regalo ng December. Pero hindi yan ang ikukuwento ko sa inyo. Ang isa sa mga raket ko. 

Last year, if I remeber right, nauso yang "toasted pastillas" na yan. Search naman ako kay Mr. Google. Wow, sarap ng itsura ng mga yun.. Sabi ng anak ko - "Ma, gusto ko nyan, order ka." Haha. 120+ shipping... hmmm, parang presyo na ng isang pack ng gatas yan anak ah. Anyways, so wala akong makuha ng recipe ng "toasted pastillas" pero, napakadaming recipe ng simpleng pastillas lang. So, eto na. 

Gawa, experiment ng pastillas para kay anak ko. Tantayahan sa measurement. 

Eto resulta.

Yung forming ng shape was the hardest part. So, bilog na lang, parang galapong lang sa ginataan. At dahil toasted di ba kailangan ko, so i-toast natin. Pero mas sunog, mas masarap. Hehe.

1st batch - not very successful

Toasting

Slightly burnt

Akalain mo, nagmukha siyang pandesal sa malayo di ba? Kahit yung kapatid ko sa ibang bansa nung pinadala ko yung pictures e parang masarap daw yung pandesal na gawa ko. Hay naku!

Sabi ng anak ko, it was delicious naman daw. Never mind the appearance, basta it was masarap! Even my mommy said so. Saka pinatimkim ko dun sa mga tindera sa katabing pwesto ng nanay ko sa palengke, masarap daw, magkano daw ba ang benta ko. Ting (bulblight!)! Pwede! Pwede pagkakitaan.

So eto ginawa ko, gawa ako ng ibang shape,  toasted it, and wrap it in a nice packaging (label and all). Yung iba, nilagyan ko ng sprinkles. I called it COOKIE PASTILLAS. Since it looked liked a cookie pero lasang pastillas. Yung buyer ko, can finish it in one sitting. Hehe, masarap daw e. And kahit hindi mo i-refrigerate, hindi siya masisira up to a week.

So here's the final product. Nakailan din naman akong benta, and it was a very promising business pero mahirap i-maintain. By order na lang ang gawa ko and minsan pag sinisipag every weekend, may display ako  niyan sa stall ng nanay ko sa palengke ng Carmona. (Update ko na lang ito, nawala pala sa pc ko yung pic ng naka-packaging na.) Later...

   

Sprinkled with love :)

Lenguahe

As I tap into my keyboard thinking of the next thing to write, I suddenly remembered  my sister's "feeling" towards some people who makes fun of others while they are speaking the English language. My family and I were born and raised in the Philippines. We are Filipinos. And as Filipinos who was born in to the biggest island in the country, Luzon, we  spoke of the Filipino language, and the dialect is "tagalog". A few of my cousins were born in Canada ( my mom's sister migrated there before she got married). And as a result, they only know, French and English. They know nothing of the Tagalog language. They understand a bit because of their mom.

Anyways, my two sisters are now living  in Canada, after their immigration application was approved a couple of years ago, and it is through them that she learned that some kids there would make fun of the other "asian" kids because of how they speak English. It sometimes sucks when other Filipinos try to think of you lowly because one cannot speak proper English. Or whenever you got your grammar wrong.

And because of this, I am writing my blog on my way, the Filipino way. Where I am most comfortable, Tag-lish way.

Tagal ko ng hindi nakakasulat. The post I did was 2012. February 2014 na. Heart's day na. Bahala kayo kung hindi nyo naiintindihan. Buti nga hinde kopa isinulat "jejemom" way. Hehe.

Forget about the pricetag!!!

This is just one of those times when you always think of the question, "Why is life not fair?" or " Why is life so damn hard?". The answer mostly lies on the fact that people (lots of us) really needed that cash. MONEY. It always matter and somehow its always nowhere, especially, when you needed it most.

So here I am, thinking of ways and finding things I could do to earn something.... anything!!!! A month, or should I say, there's only a few days left and its enrollment time again for my little Ikay. Hmmm, is my savings enough? Have I earned enough? My bank account says there's enough for now, but I still have to continue earning because its not just the enrollment I'm worried about. There's  a whole lot of stuff I needed to buy for my daughter. And no, no new uniform, no new shoes, no new bag (her old ones are still fine, and good thing that ikay's not 'maarte'). Just the regular school stuff such as notebooks, crayons, etc. Things is, its till cost a lot. It really does cost a lot to send someone to school.

But moms do have a their special thing with budgeting. I have to learn it from my master, my MOM.  :)

Business of Retailing

Me and my sibling grew up selling stuff. As my father do office works in SM, my mother has been a market vendor for as long as I could remember. I grew up smelling all kinds of smell in a public market. A place full of life from dawn to evening. I remember getting up around 4 in the morning, tagging along to my mom as we go to Paco Market in Manila to buy crates ("kaing-kaing", as my mom used to say) of bananas, sacks of sweet potatoes, sacks of sugar (all kinds).. and a lot of other stuff. We would get them from dealers, and sold them at our stall at Sta. Ana Public Market, by  kilo or by piece.

There was no time to rest for my parents. As they tried to feed, and educate four children. And each one of us did our time to help out. We would help repacking sugars, pancit bihon, uncooked sago, cocoa, miswa.. and a lot more. We grew up, with the public market in our lives.

Our parents were born dirt poor, but because of their hard work and determination, they made it through. We're not rich but we lead comfortable lives. The family has gone through house fire, a number of robberies, but we still hang on. We were able to buy whatever we would want but, with limitations. We see to it that the thing we would be buying is "needed" and not just "wanted". They would always tell us to save for the future.

After selling bananas and other ingredients for the ginataan, my parents then ventured to retailing processed meat. We bravely called hotdog giants such as Purefoods, CDO (CDO was just starting to compete with Purefoods back then), and order some goods, firstly with cash upon delivery. Again, with determination and I guess, luck, my parents were successful. And as time goes, we put up another stall in Cavite (where we're staying now). We're still in retailing, and would continue to do so as long as we could.

The stall in Manila, is still operating but not doing that well now, since the market is competing with supermarkets (like savemore and puregold.) The one in Cavite is giving the bigger share of income for the family. Two years ago, My father and I put up a small office supply business. The business had been good but its not as profitable as my parents processed meat retailing.

Since my parents are retiring, I hope I would do justice to their diligence and perseverance.